This week, my firstborn child turned 20 years old. I woke that morning thinking about the day he was born (as I do every birthday of both kids) - reflecting at the fabulous time it was (yes.. I am one of those who actually got to enjoy the labor and delivery of my children) and then it dawned on me.. Holy Cow! He's TWENTY YEARS OLD!! WHAT? I'm only 28ish... aren't I? How in the world did this happen?
Am I happy about it? Oh what an incredible young man he is.. kind, compassionate, hard-working, gentle, funny - and I could go on and on. He is truly a blessing. Sometimes my husband or I one will just stop after he's left the room.. or we've gotten off the phone with him, and say, Dang - he's a good kid.. how in the heck did we do that? (Mostly by the Grace of God, I assure you :-)
Does it make me sad? What happened to that sweet baby who looked up at me with his eyes full of love as I held him (ALL the time - I had a hard time putting my babies down). Where did that little fireball of a toddler who was constantly busy.. building, taking things apart, running everywhere - ohhh was he all over the place! Looking back - even the terrible two's (and BOY was he terrible!) don't seem so bad now. The times he threw himself to the ground screaming and kicking, the times I had to leave my FULL buggy at Wal-Mart and carry him out of the store (under my arm like a sack of potatoes) screaming because he had been awful throughout the trip and wasn't allowed the promised "treat" if he was good. The school years of band, tennis, XBox, then computers because XBox "sucked" - good grades, bad grades, friends at the house (eating everything but the cabinets), homecoming dances, prom, graduation, moving away to college...
I guess I'm both - very nostalgic, very excited about the place he is now - and the wonderful future he has ahead, and slowly but surely figuring out that I'm FORTY something... not TWENTY something.. and it's not a bad place to be - in fact, it's a great place to be. The oldest is 20 (I can say it out loud now) the baby will be 17 soon (beware the posts that are coming on that one - bday, senior pictures, etc. *sigh*) and this birthday of his has helped me reflect and realize what a fabulous, blessed life I have.. the children, my husband, my family, even my job is wonderful (most of the time ;-). So, Happy Birthday to my first baby - and Happy Reflction Day to Mom!
back to basics
13 years ago
2 comments:
Remember when he was about 7 years old and I needed my dryer door to open the other way because we had just moved and it didn't work right in this laundry room? No problem...he took the door off, reversed it, and put it back on, good as new. Good grief!
Hey Favorite teacher of mine!.
You know, I'm kind of going through that same nostalgic feeling right now. I'm thinking about how JorJor and I are going to be 17 Soon. I kind of getting this traumatic anxiety disorder kind of mentality and I know it's irrational so you don't have to worry about me getting carried away with it. I suppose it's just hard to think that I'm almost considered an adult and I'm going to get responsibilities thrown on my that I'm not sure I'm ready for just yet. I'm really glad that my parents are here for support. Mom is kind of iffy about me going Northeast for College. But she's letting me make the decision which kind of makes me feel on the edge of comfort and discomfort. It's wierd... I'm not comfortable with making the decision on my own (probably because she has always been a buffer so there were never any problems with anything but convenience for me) and at the same time I'm happy with her decision because I know she's not going to be with me forever. It's like... Now I'm thinking twice about what I was asking for earlier in the year. :: sigh :: I'm really looking for some comfort. Maybe I should find friends in NY... &_&
I misseth you dearly!!
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